Local Revision: Variety

Sentence Redundancy

A big part of sentence fluidity comes from the type of sentences used. In this blog I'm going to analyze how effectively I employed using a variety of sentences.

Karolina Grabowska. "Quote Chalk Chalkboard Words Think Sentence" 6/21/15 via pixabay. Creative Commons 0 Public Domain License

Down to Business

1. There's one major problem with my sentence structure. Every sentence is similar, and I have to fix it. I use a lot of short, quick sentences that make my QRG feel like its completely bullet pointed. I never really go off into a deep analysis in the QRG, which needs to be in the project. I don't want to over analyze things, but I feel that the audience needs more in-depth understanding of the controversy without going overboard in terms of analyzing every little thing. Variation can be key to the flow of my project, so fixing the sentence structure has to happen.

2. My paragraph structures were pretty solid in my QRG. I kept the paragraph length down, which makes it easy on the eyes of the audience. Nobody wants to read a giant wall of text when learning something in a short amount of time. The transitions of the paragraphs seem to flow smoothly as well too. My main goal for the paragraph structure was to keep it free flowing and smooth. I focused on the conventions pertaining to the look of my project, and made sure they went hand in hand with the look of other QRG's.

3. I'll be 100% honest. My vocabulary is lacking in the current form of my draft. I need to add more pop and pzazz to my QRG without throwing the thesaurus at it. What I mean is that I need to be more descriptive with my vocabulary, without making it feel like the reader is viewing a textbook. I think fun, free-flowing vocabulary can make or break any kind of text. If you read something that keeps you actively engaged, the message of the text is more likely to get across. I need to make my work stand out more, and keep the readers engaged with the text, rather than bored with it. If I were to list the strengths of the QRG, it would be the easy-to-comprehend style that my draft is in. I don't think my draft's vocabulary exhibits many other strengths from the vocabulary standpoint. The weaknesses are basically the beginning of this paragraph being a lack of pzazz and a lack of description.