Sunday, April 24, 2016

Editorial Report 13a

Let's compare and contrast shall we?


In this blog post, I'm going to see the how far one of my body paragraphs has come in this paper.

The Original - Rough Cut


A topic that commonly resurfaces is the idea that schools provide no options for vegetarian or vegan students who cannot consume the same foods as their non-vegan and non-vegetarian counterparts. According to the Vegetarian Resource Group (VRG), schools are required to offer items such as a salad for both vegans and vegetarians to eat for lunch. Although currently only five percent of elementary schools offer other vegan options, there is always food available for people of this lifestyle. As society grows away from the traditional meat, veggies, and fruit lunch, more vegan options will open up in the upcoming years.

The New One - Re-edited Cut


      A topic that commonly resurfaces is the idea that schools provide no options for vegetarian or vegan students who cannot consume the same foods as their non-vegan and non-vegetarian counterparts. According to the Vegetarian Resource Group (VRG), schools are required to offer items such as a salad for both vegans and vegetarians to eat for lunch. Although currently only five percent of elementary schools offer other vegan options, there is always food available for people of this lifestyle. As society grows away from the traditional meat, veggies, and fruit lunch, more vegan options will open up in the upcoming years. Vegetarians have a few more options, as 25 percent of elementary schools have vegetarian options ("Vegetarian Journal's Foodservice Update, Vol. XII No. 2 And 3 -- Vegetarian Resource Group"). These meals consist of simple foods such as peanut butter and jelly, vegetable wraps, and other low maintenance food that satisfies the needs of vegetarians. It is understandable to note that there is not much diversity among the food options for people with specific diets, but the fact that there are some options proves that children will always have a meal at school that fits their needs.

The Questions we want answers to


1. The content changed when I re-edited because I added so much more analysis to the original part of the paragraph. Originally it was just fact after fact and it didn't really go well with my argument. After I added a little bit of analysis and soul to my paper, it flowed extremely well. The ideas are definitely conveyed much better in the newer version compared to the older one.

2. The form changed because I added a citation and that was pretty much it. Honestly form isn't huge in this project so I was able to just adjust my citation to the proper citation. I really don't know what else to say about this part, as it established credibility and that was the only thing that really changed.


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